Faith to be.

 

(Above: My parents with my little Luke. Best Parents Ever.)

       Healed. Mom was crying as she said it, I could hear dad emotional in the background of the phone conversation. They wanted me to be healed. Why couldn't it happen for me? I know the Lord moves mountains. I know He heals.  There are lots of faithful people in this family, surely if there is such thing as healing and having the faith for it, we could muster it.. Fasting was going on already in my behalf. I knew that my parents yearned for me to have this gift, just as I would have for my daughter...
     But somehow, it didn't sit well.  I couldn't imagine that I had been given this obstacle today just to try and give it back tomorrow... Why was this conversation making me so uncomfortable?
      And yet surely healing was a righteous desire- right?  Asking in faith for our righteous desires is something the scriptures encourage us to do!
      His will for us is to gain all that He has. This is my firm belief. I am confident that anything I am required to endure in this life is a smoothing salve to my rough exterior- more polish to my stone if you will... I have been given a challenge. What will it make of me?

    Some days,  a heaping ball of why's.
    Other days a more convinced daughter of God.

    I pour a hot tub, dissolve in my Epsom salts and baking soda-and sink in. I know it completely depends on choice. My swollen joints float effortlessly in the calming water and I know what I must choose. To embrace the gift (or challenge) He has given me, its just a choice. Am I allowing it to build my testimony with stronger mortar? Where do I allow my thoughts to go?
    If my Heavenly Father wants me to seek healing- I will.  If he wants me to experience the benefits of suffering- I will.

   My question at the beginning of this journey is what he would have me seek. What experience do I need most to refine and polish this rough stone that I am? My flesh is weak, but I want to do the most right thing. I am grateful for faithful loving parents and for their example of how my Heavenly Father loves me too.

   "Courage is exhibited in every virtue at its testing point." Elder Boyd K. Packer.